John 14:21
Paul, in Galatians 5:14, says the whole law can be summed up in keeping this one command: Love your neighbor as yourself. I refer to myself as a "recovering perfectionist" now that I realize being a perfectionist is not something one should aspire to (it's not the same thing as aspiring to do the best one is capable of). As a perfectionist I used to justify my expectations of others by reminding myself I never expect of someone else more than I do of myself. Because I was not happy with who I was I was constantly trying to improve myself--and everyone along with me. I always felt that if that other person would do this or not do that, then I could be perfect. It seemed others' imperfect behaviors brought out the worst in me, and that just wouldn't do! An example is my first-born was quite a strong-willed toddler. As you can see in the photo above he was full of mischief! Because he constantly challenged any and everything I wanted/needed him to do, I found myself getting angry because I was not being the "perfect mother" I'd always imagined for myself. I found myself saying, "If he'd cooperate, I could do my job of taking care of him better." I could say this about everyone else, too. I could be a better wife, a better friend, a better daughter, a better neighbor if only they would cooperate!
Are you getting the connection between loving your neighbor and yourself in my examples yet? .....love your neighbor as yourself. The problem was I did not love myself. I was so critical of myself that it followed that I was critical of others. It's only when I can accept myself as I am that I will be able to accept others as they are. In essence, isn't that what love is all about? Before I leave this topic, though, I want to address the question, "Does that mean we should never try to improve ourselves?" The answer is yes and no. Yes, I shouldn't try to improve myself, but I should let the Holy Spirit in me make the necessary changes. By being open to the Spirit He will reveal to me where I need to change, and with His Help and by His Power, I'll be able to. Chances are the change I need to make is to become as He made me to be in the first place--not some made-up version I've imagined for myself based on what I think others would like me to be. In trying to be something I am not I will act out of fear rather than love because at the deepest level I know that God's grace will not be with my ego. God gives grace to the humble, and it is the humble who see themselves as God sees them--in need of Him.
Are you getting the connection between loving your neighbor and yourself in my examples yet? .....love your neighbor as yourself. The problem was I did not love myself. I was so critical of myself that it followed that I was critical of others. It's only when I can accept myself as I am that I will be able to accept others as they are. In essence, isn't that what love is all about? Before I leave this topic, though, I want to address the question, "Does that mean we should never try to improve ourselves?" The answer is yes and no. Yes, I shouldn't try to improve myself, but I should let the Holy Spirit in me make the necessary changes. By being open to the Spirit He will reveal to me where I need to change, and with His Help and by His Power, I'll be able to. Chances are the change I need to make is to become as He made me to be in the first place--not some made-up version I've imagined for myself based on what I think others would like me to be. In trying to be something I am not I will act out of fear rather than love because at the deepest level I know that God's grace will not be with my ego. God gives grace to the humble, and it is the humble who see themselves as God sees them--in need of Him.
