Share Your Brokenness

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."  

-Romans 8:17

This blurry picture of my 27-year-old son's heart monitor was taken in 2015 a few hours after he'd had a pacemaker/defibrillator implant.  The white spikes are the pacemaker keeping his heart beating steadily. The defibrillator is a back-up, if his heart should stop again.  It was the culmination of a 2-week odyssey into the unknown through which I'd felt God's presence every step of the way.

In today's Discover the Word program with Ann Voskamp she told of her own crisis with her 13-year-old son who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and how she'd shared her brokenness with a friend after she'd learned that 1 in 20 children with Type 1 Diabetes die in their sleep.  This friend told Ann that she felt closer to her than she'd ever felt because of this sharing.  Ann, who is usually the one people come to when there is a crisis, realized she usually did not share her broken-heart times with others because she did not want to be a burden.  Someone else on the program said he doesn't because he doesn't want to admit he can't handle the situation.  In my own situation with my son's near-death experience I felt if I talked about it I'd be overwhelmed with emotion and would not be able to be there for him.  This was brought home to me when I called my brother to tell him what was going on and had to speak out loud the words, "He almost died," at which point I broke down in tears for the first time.

Jesus shared his brokenness in the Garden of Gethsemane when He said to His disciples, "My soul is consumed with sorrow to the point of death.  Stay here and keep watch." (Mark 14:34).  But they did not pray and keep watch.  They slept.  This brings up a fourth reason why you may not share your brokenness with others:  you've been disappointed with the lack of response when you have shared your broken heart.  There have been times I've shared my need and no one answered the call to share in my brokenness.  In those times, however, it was brought home to me even more so that God is still there with me even though His people may not be.  Perhaps the purpose of my sharing my brokenness was more for the other person so that they would see me as just like them.  That I, too, hurt at times and am needy.  Most of all, though, sharing my brokenness "out loud"  brings me closer to God because I've acknowledged my need for Him.  God always answers the call for help from His people.

I am grateful for those who have shown me compassion in my time of need and forgive those who have been unable to because of their own neediness....because I know that I have been that person, too.